I am back!! but my heart is broken this time...

To all my fellow friends..

I might seemed happy everyday but who actually knows how am I feeling deep down inside me??? Friends?? What friends are for?? Anyway, I am really very depressed right now....Victor has went back to Sg Long...Ling is out there doing her own stuff ( And I've got no idea what's she doing) ....And I am all alone in my room....How I wish she'll walk in and at least stay beside me just to give me an accompany.....never mind.....................................I cried just now....And I still feel like crying now......................

Okay....I am going to type out what I am feeling right now...I don't mean to hurt anyone or whatsoever...I am just being myself....No offense ya??as my friends, you guys should know that I am those straight forward kind of person right?? And this is me.....I will say whatever it's on my mind...If you think what I said is not right...just let me know!! And I will accept it...........

I agreed...I have changed...perhaps I am changing into those kinda self-centered person....I only care for myself....this is what you guys think of me right?? I might forgive those who don't really know me....I won't care how others think of me...But you guys are my Best friends!!! I thought you guys should know me better than anyone else??? Well, I am really confuse right now....

Seems like everyone is now having their own secrets......We used to share our joys and sorrows together...How about now??? I really got no idea............But still I hope we'll all try our best to remain our friendships.........

There's something I would like to ask you guys......It's very important to me but might not to you guys....So I hope you guys will answer me seriously just because I take this very serious.....The question is....Am I really that bad??? Bad until you guys hate me so much??!! I really pissed you guys off all the time???

All the while I am just like a clown...you guys would laugh at me...tease me...scolded me...and I don't mind because I know you guys are just kidding....But sometimes I will find you guys too over but still I act as nothing happened because I don't wanna spoil our friendship......I really don't want!!!

But after that incident.......I really cannot stand anymore....And I swear that's my first time talking to you guy like this...I have never voice up to any of you before....Am I right?? Do let me know if it's not.........And because of that one time you guys will never ever forgive me??? Some more I have apologized for what I have did.......Why?? Why must you guys treat me so cruel?? Why there's no chance given for me?? I just don't understand why............

p/s: Sorry if I sounded too harsh...(no offense) I just want to gain my trust back...