Have been really emotional lately. Blame it on my PMS!! Hahaha...But seriously, a lot of things had happened and I am still not use to the changes. I am trying very very hard to get use to it though.
I have been in a relationship for the past 4 years, being pampered, loved, cared for the past 4 years, and now that I am all alone, I forgot how to handle things myself. Not to say all alone because I still have a bunch of friends who care for me but still! It's different. Honestly speaking, I feel that I have been a baby all these while. I never learn how to eat by myself, always people feeding me. So it's good that I can now learn how to take care of myself, listen to what I really want, try to find my way out when I am lost and not calling other people to direct me. Of course there are a lot more to learn, these are just a part of it.
Today, I went for a movie all alone. Wanted to watch "Love in disguise" but it starts at 12am so I chose another movie which was "grown ups." The feeling was kinda awkward. Bought a ticket, sat next to a lovely couple who constantly hugged each other, laugh alone, and people keeps looking at me wondering why is this girl watching movie all alone. But it was not too bad after all.
A voice keeps reminding me, you are a grown up now, not young anymore, stop acting like a kid and don't expect people telling you what to do and what not to. I got scolded by a friend of mine and I thought a lot about it until I realized I was really a baby before this. A very innocent and foolish one. Glad that I finally notice about it, and I hope as time goes by I can really stand on my own feet again and start doing things my way.
I still believe that there's always a reason behind everything. God let me go through this because he wants to train me, polish me and makes me stronger day by day. For now, I really don't want to think about anything else. I just want to be myself, continue with my composition, and by Tuesday I will be flying to Uk and hopefully things will turn better.
Friends and family, do keep me in your prayers. I need your support, I need your advise, I need God. Without him, I am nothing. He is the one who brings me here, and he is the only one who knows what is best for me. So from now onwards I will follow his path, open up my heart and accept what he has prepared for me.
After clearing things out, I am again a happy girl now. Special thanks to Yik Ling, and Joel. Yik Ling, sorry to let you worry about me last night. I am really glad that you are always there for me. Thanks for all your effort. Joel, it has really been a hard time for me, but thanks for waking me up from all these shyt. I am no longer a baby now, I have grow stronger and I will not be the foolish girl you used to know anymore!! I love all my friends and family!! =)
Signing off with loads of love. ")
